Sunday, May 15, 2011

Finding Me

I am discovering that grieving is quite a process and I've just not been given that time and privacy to figure it all out. I don't know who I am, what I am to do, and how do I move forward without my mate. Like I say, it's quite a process.

So, along with other explorations (Bible, books on devotions etc) I started reading 'Have a New You by Friday' by Dr. Kevin Leman. The first chapter starts with the first of the week, Monday. I cheated, didn't I? But, finding answers is of upmost importance to me so what's a few hours?

I did find out that I have a Phlegmatic personality. That sounds gross. But, in Dr. Leman's explanation he states that Phlegmatic personalities are much like Irish Setters. Aw, geez, such a sweet dog to be compared to.

I'd hate to be compared to a Pit Bull or English Bulldog.

People with phlegmatic personalities....(pros)
1. Keep the peace
2. Can solve problems objectively (gotta think about that one a bit)
3. Have a balanced, pleasing personality ( I hope I'm balanced... but sure people may sometimes think I am 'unbalanced'.)
4. Is patient, obliging, friendly
5. are loyal, good at listening
6. Content, adaptable (boy, I adapted to every new place we moved to during Navy days)
7. don't make impulsive decisions (don't even like making decisions at all)
8. stick to the end of a project (gotta chuck this one... I have tons of projects I haven't completed but then again it didn't say how long you'd stick to it)

Cons of being Phlegmatic
1.  Avoid conflict (I did not grow up in a household where there was any conflict nor did Elbert and I raise our children in that sort of environment)
2. Lack of enthusiasm and energy (I'm sort of laid back, got that from my Dad's side of the family)
3. Sometimes unable to make decisions because they don't want to disappoint anyone
4. need self-motivation (I just don't want to change things so my motivational skills are poor)
5. sluggish approach to life (that laid back stuff again)

That pretty much sums me up. So, now that  I know what I have to work on.... will read more and find out how to change those things that aren't working for me. Stay tuned.


  1. I'll have to check out this book, it sounds interesting ......
    I'm not surprised at the descriptions of your personality.....except for lack of enthusiasm and energy. I would think your lack of enthusiasm would have a lot to do with feeling lost without Elbert.
    You're sweetness and loyalty make for a very good friend!

  2. Your personality sounds a little like mine! And I know what you mean about grieving and 'finding yourself'. I went through that. Sold my house, bought another one, thought I'd fix it up like I wanted it and settle down for the duration...then along came Jeep and swept me off my feet. You never know what will happen, but I'm sure God has something good in mind for you!!!

  3. I'm not surprised at the description of you Either! You're such a sweetheart!
    If you Need "down time"...Take it! Explore! That's what it's all about.

  4. Hi Latane,you are alone at a crossroads in your life but there is no hurry about which path to take!
    The red setter is the symbol of our national bus company Bus Eireann it is on their website and on all of the buses.
    I think the very fact that you recognise you need to make changes says a lot about your determination!

  5. No hurry, as Peggy will take time. I like what you are getting from this book, though!


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