Ham I am or maybe a Turkey

The funniest thing has happened to me... I needed a good laugh. I'm sure Smithfield Hams was glad to oblige.

What is it with corporate America? The big businesses, outsourcing, hiding under other names, scattering their plants all over the universe ... you know, where in the world is the old Mom and Pop stores where you could trust everyone you shopped with and you knew where your products came from. That ham that you bought for Thanksgiving or Christmas was probably a part of Susie Hog from your friend John's farm down the road. It sure was a different world back in the 'olden' days...

My son Michael can not be with us for Christmas. He moved out to the far reaches of the Plains!! Nebraska, where it's cold and it snows and the wind blows. So, to help out with our family Christmas meal (minus him and his wife, of course) he orders a ham and a turkey from Smithfield Hams.

Now, you just think that your order would be shipped from where they process and cure the hams. Wouldn't you? I live 20 miles from the original, huge processing plant in Smithfield, Va. The one that Paula Deen advertises so proudly on tv. So, ....

I am talking to Michael on the phone.

'When is the ham and turkey due to arrive', I ask.

He's at the computer and pulls up his order form.

'Says here, December 21st.... hmmmm, ( a pregnant pause) by 2 day air'.

I'm puzzled. 'What they gonna do, drop it off by helicopter'?  We have military helicopters doing touch and goes at our small airport all the time. The airport is in sight of my house. Well, I could see if it they'd cut some trees down. Hey, maybe the Army is delivering my ham!!

We laugh about the 2 day air thing and then Michael scrolls further down and clicks on tracking your order.

'Mom, it's being shipped from Wisconsin'.

That was just too funny. I guess they (the powers that be from Smithfield Hams) shipped my ham out to Wisconsin, then some flannel wearing guys with big guns went out turkey hunting, shot me a turkey and shipped the ham and turkey off to Virginia, where the daggum ham started in the first place.

You all have a very Merry Christmas. And, when you are eating your ham or your turkey on Christmas Day... I'll guarantee they didn't come from where you thought.